Testimony

I showed up as a child’s broken heart. A man that had lost his way. I felt as if I were one less than nobody. A beggars cup, hollow and empty. As if my shadow no longer even accompanied me anymore. In that state of darkness. There was no light.

So, I took the communion, drank from the cup of the sacrament as it were. Forgiveness found me. God did that which I couldn’t do for myself. Living waters and life flowed thru me. And, then the light returned. I am forever changed. I was falling and the hand of God caught me and I died to myself and was reborn…

It would not had been possible if it were not for Whiz, Suzi, Zoya, Kat, Theresa and the crew. They, being the messengers, the conduit and servants of the Spirit of God. Gratitude and giving fill my heart now. Thank you much so..!

A Journey From Faith to Knowing

For most of my life, I never imagined I would have an experience like this.

I was raised Catholic, later rebaptized as a Christian, and spent much of my life believing deeply in my faith. I worked for the Department of Justice, served in fire and EMS, and come from a family history where substance abuse was a very real part of our story. Because of that, I was heavily opposed to “drugs” and Psychedelics were never something I believed I would consider, much less experience.

But I knew I needed help.

My first experience with plant medicine was with Iboga, and that experience quite literally saved my life. It opened a door I didn’t know existed and gave me an opportunity to begin confronting things I had carried for far too long.

My journey with Sacred Warrior Fellowship and psilocybin took me through that door in an entirely different way.

I came into the ceremony with uncertainty, vulnerability, and perhaps even a little resistance. What unfolded was beautiful, sacred, and equally brutal. I found myself face-to-face with some of the deepest and most powerful moments of my life — completely open and unrestricted.

I experienced moments of flying with my best friend and pilot in command, and then becoming part of the cockpit itself. I experienced being buried beneath rubble and debris, only to be pulled from it by fallen comrades and loved ones. I felt their presence — not simply around me, but within me.

There were moments when chapters of my life that I had never fully understood suddenly came full circle.

And somewhere within that experience, something fundamental changed.

I was brought directly into the presence of our Creator and into the presence of Creation itself. I no longer feel that my faith is something I must simply believe in. I have experienced something that feels deeper than belief.

I have seen and felt the love and light that exists within each and every one of us, and all around us.

For those of us who have lived through trauma, loss, service, and experiences that are difficult to put into words, it can be incredibly easy to become trapped inside our own internal damnation. We carry moments that our minds and bodies don’t know how to process, and sometimes we spend years trying to outrun them.

This journey gave me an opportunity to stop running. To face them. To feel them. To grieve them. And, perhaps most importantly, to understand that I did not have to remain imprisoned by them. It was sacred, and deeply personal, intimate in a way that only exists between ourselves, our Creator, and those who walked beside who were there in that moment.

I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity Sacred Warrior Fellowship gave me to enter that sacred space and do that work. It was not easy. It was not comfortable. And it was not something I would describe as simply beautiful. It saved and changed my life.